Giving Halloween Candy to Kids: Restricting Food
Should I let my kid eat their Halloween candy?
While I understand why many parents have questions and concerns about this topic, the answer is a resounding yes. Because of how much fear talk there is around sugar these days, halloween is a day where we are forced to confront our own fears about food and our child’s eating habits/health. And of course with all the “sugar is the devil!” messages surrounding us, how could we not be afraid of letting our children have free reign on candy during Halloween?
Sugar isn’t the devil. It’s a molecule. And the more you restrict it from your kids, the more they will obsess over it, be crazy around it, hoard it, and binge it at their friend’s house. Halloween is an opportunity to practice engaging in the research based approach to feeding children which includes not engaging in restriction, and allowing some unregulated opportunities to eat foods like sugar. I promise your child will live through this particularly sugary day of the year. Let it be fun.
What Does Restricting Food Mean?
Put as simply as possible, restricting food is reducing the amount of food being eaten, and/or demonizing certain types of foods. As you probably know, this is actually normalized in our culture and often under the veil of “health.”
What we know is that eating a varied diet, with protein, carbs, fats, fruits and/or veggies is helpful. What we also know is that telling our kids NOT to eat too much of carbs or sugars does not actually mean they will have a more balanced diet in childhood or adulthood.
Why is Restricting Food Bad?
When there’s restriction, eventually the cravings, preoccupation on the food, and/or the binging will begin. This is because we are humans with complex brains and survival mechanisms intact. We aren’t robots. As an eating disorder specialist, I have heard this story countless times: “I was told I wasn’t allowed to eat xyz, and then I would sneak that food and binge on it.” And this story reaches far beyond my own office– research backs it up too.
What we know from research is that restricting food is associated with the following:
More eating in the absence of hunger
Increased self esteem issues
Increased preoccupation with food
More weight gain
The short story is: if you tell your child they can’t have a certain food, and you continue to make it clear that it is not allowed (or unhealthy/bad) your child’s attention to this food or food group will only increase.
The alternative is presenting different food groups to your child, plating mostly balanced meals (including different food groups), and letting your child decide what to eat or if they eat. As a part of this you want to include sugars and desserts here and there without making it a big deal. I’ll put some examples of what this might look like under the “what is non-restrictive eating” section.
What Does Restricting Food Do To Your Body?
When we restrict or are restricted from food, a very primal system within our body is ignited. This system is all about keeping us fed, because as it turns out, the brain/body needs food (and enough food to be exact) to survive! So therefore our brain is very tuned in to any signs of restriction. The extreme example from really early research is seen in the Minnesota Starvation Study which began in 1944. The study looked at the effects of chronic underfeeding or “semi-starvation”, which went far beyond the physical effects (skin changes, dizziness, lethargy, edema). The psychological implications were severe- obsessions with food, depressive symptoms, and large reports of distress and “hysteria.”
How Does Restricting Food Apply in Binge Eating?
Ask any eating disorder specialist that works with binge eating this question - we will all tell you that the origins of binge eating are some level of restriction.
People are often blown away by this fact, since the very nature of binge eating makes it sound like restriction would be far from the issue. The thing to remember here is that the normal adaptation of the body when there is a sense of restriction or prolonged restriction is to ensure that food is plentiful.
We often refer to “last supper eating,” which happens right before someone starts a diet. There’s this lack of control that comes over a person because their system knows they are going into a period of restriction. So you gravitate towards all those foods you are anticipating reducing, and your body encourages you to consume more than you “need” to prepare for what it sees as an upcoming famine.
What is Non-Restrictive Eating?
The way out of binge eating is feeling secure about food, and feeling permission to eat all kinds of foods. This is non-restrictive eating; allowing access to a variety of foods, giving permission to eat what and how much we want, and not beating ourselves up or placing worth on food choices.
Having a non-restricted eating household may feel messy at times and uncomfortable, because it does mean trusting your kid’s body to get what it needs. I’ll be the first to tell you that there are times where I wonder how my child can be so energetic when she only ate the blueberries off her breakfast plate.
There are also times where she might be so excited that she doesn’t eat much, and times when she eats so much and asks for seconds! What I know is that letting her have control over these things and staying in my lane gives her the best shot at having ease with eating throughout her life.
The Benefits of Non-Restrictive Eating for Children
The benefits are endless. Non-restrictive eating, and feeding your child according to Ellyn Satter’s approach is associated with:
Better awareness of hunger and fullness cues
Positive coping skills/less reliance on food for emotional support
More body appreciation
Less pressure for thinness
Increase life satisfaction and self esteem
Another benefit that must be named, is that feeding your child becomes easier because there is less struggle between parent-child.
This approach means you’re not coaxing your child into eating more broccoli, tricking them into eating more or less, or making 3 different dinners to try and get them to eat something. You know that if they don’t eat now, they will be offered a snack later, and you let go.
How Can Parents Encourage and Promote Non-Restrictive Eating
As a parent I know that letting go isn’t always that easy. I also know that when a child is used to being restricted from certain foods, the initial “honeymoon” period of being allowed these previously “off limits” foods can be bigger. If you are trying to shift from a more restrictive approach to this approach, let your child know!
“Hey, I’ve been learning, and I wanted to let you know that we will be doing things a little differently with food because I think long-term it will work better for all of us.” Then you have to commit to doing things differently. Confidently present meals and snacks to them, and then take a deep breath when your child may have some binge behaviors around foods. Their body and brain needs to learn that these foods are not restricted. They need to feel secure about that, and part of that is letting them eat, and not shaming them or making a big deal about it. This will only work if you’re consistent with your change!
As a parent, non-restrictive eating means following Ellyn Satter’s researched approach to feeding children: You decide the what, when, and where of eating, and your child decides “if” and “how much” of everything. Let’s do some examples:
Example 1:
Parent: “Lunch is going to be turkey sandwiches, apples, and chips today!”
Kid: “I want cookies.”
Parent: “This is what’s on the menu right now, you can have what you want, and leave what you don’t. We will have snack later so at that point there will be another opportunity to eat if you don’t eat much now.”
Kid: “But I really want a cookie right now!”
Parent: “I get that. The cookies we have right now are so good. I’ll make sure we have some with a snack later this afternoon or tonight!” (repeat as many times as needed!)
Example 2:
Parent: “Here are 2 cookies and milk for snack!”
Kid: “I want more cookies than this!”
Parent: “Right now we are all only having 2 each, but I can tell you like these, so I will be sure to keep buying them!”
Maybe then another day you give an opportunity to have more unregulated access to cookies so your kid can be exposed to this.
You might put a bunch of cookies on a plate at the table for everyone to eat as they want. Don’t comment on how much they eat! If they end up telling you they feel too full, then you can say something really simple like ‘I wonder if that was just a bit too much for your stomach. Do you think lying down would help you feel better?’”
How to Help A Teen Who Has Started Restricting Food?
Don’t be afraid to get help from an eating disorder dietitian and/or therapist. I also have free resources and a couple courses you might find useful:
References:
Fisher, J. O., & Birch, L. L. (2000). Parents' restrictive feeding practices are associated with young girls' negative self-evaluation of eating. Journal of the American Dietetic Association, 100(11), 1341–1346. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0002-8223(00)00378-3
Eneli, Ihuoma & Crum, Peggy & Tylka, Tracy. (2008). The Trust Model: A Different Feeding Paradigm for Managing Childhood Obesity. Obesity (Silver Spring, Md.). 16. 2197-204. 10.1038/oby.2008.378.
Kalm, L. M., & Semba, R. D. (2005). They starved so that others be better fed: remembering Ancel Keys and the Minnesota experiment. The Journal of nutrition, 135(6), 1347–1352. https://doi.org/10.1093/jn/135.6.1347
