Can you practice body positivity & want to lose weight at the same time?
Is it possible to lose weight and work on body positivity at the same time?
You can work on body positivity and your weight could stay the same, go up, go down, or fluctuate within a range. It’s of course possible (just like all other possibilities) to lose weight while working on body positivity, but it is not at all the point.
To practice body positivity and really get the benefits, you definitely want to stop acting on those urges to control your body and weight. Of course it’s understandable that you have wants to look differently! But before you jump on eating and exercising based on that, hold up. Here are the important nuances I am talking about.
You can want to lose weight. Then you can want to lose weight and actually pursue weight loss. That will contradict working on body positivity.
OR
You can want to lose weight but choose not to try to lose weight, because you want to work on body positivity.
Body positivity (sometimes more accurately called body liberation or body acceptance), is about accepting your body, and respecting your genetics.
Considering the beginning of my career was spent trying to help people lose weight, I've had to grapple with these nuances very deeply. And for a while, I tried to do both; be body positive and support people as they tried to lose weight.
During this time, I hadn’t yet connected with the truth that in promoting weight loss, I wasn’t embracing all bodies at all. I was still buying into the importance of pursuing thinness in a very big way, and so were my clients.
The focus on weight got in the way of my former clients because eating and moving according to weight loss and body control is very different than eating and moving based on a deep appreciation and acceptance of your body and it’s cues.
What I allowed myself to notice (with the help of mentors and research), was that the vast majority of people I worked with came up against the same barrier that kept them from truly getting healthier physically and mentally; a focus on weight loss.
Why Diets are Bad for Mental Health
Diets suck for mental health because going on a diet, and pursuing body change sends a message that you aren’t worthy as you are.
This promotes issues like anxiety, and depression which are often rooted in feelings of low-self worth! The action of dieting communicates to the self the following: “You won’t be good enough until you look differently.”
Imagine taking a child aside who is being bullied for their weight, and think about which option would be best to say to them:
Option 1: I’m sorry that happened. In order to avoid this in the future, you need to lose weight. If you can look better, you will be happier.
Option 2: I’m sorry that happened. I know that you’re feeling pretty bad about your body right now, and that makes sense–it’s not ok for people to treat you poorly because of your body size. This is not a problem with you—we will help you find ways to feel better about yourself, your body, and to find people and places that respect you.
Option 1 would be damaging to a child, and it’s damaging to adults too.
Diets also put your body in starvation mode. When your brain is being told what you can and can’t eat all the time (even subtle messages of this), it gets the message that things are not safe on the homefront, and focus on food and anxiety will only go up.
Weight stigma cannot be properly addressed until we stop...well...engaging in the stigmatization. This equates to dieting and exercise primarily targeted to alter body size/shape.
Where do Beliefs on Weight Loss Come From?
Most of us have internalized this desire to be thin or lose weight due to living in a culture that values thin bodies so profoundly. No one would move forward in their body acceptance journey if they didn’t first sit with the internalized desire to lose weight or prevent weight gain. There’s no shame in feeling this way.
So if you’re someone who wants to practice body positivity but isn’t sure if you’re “allowed” in this space since you simultaneously still want weight loss– rest assured, you are completely welcome in this space and you’re not alone in feeling this way.
The exploration of why we want to be in a different body is important because it acknowledges this cultural piece and each person’s unique journey with their body. Part of body liberation and body acceptance is about understanding what makes it so hard to be kind to your body and to accept it.
The beauty of body acceptance is that so many things can be held at once: you can be kind to your body, treat it well, stop dieting, AND you can still struggle with your body image.
In body positivity we are allowing the thoughts and feelings of wanting a different body to come and go as we practice being kind to our body and feeding and fueling ourselves with love.
So instead of trying to "fix" the body, the key is exploring why we are so tied to "fixing" as the most beneficial route to health and happiness.
I have even been fortunate enough to work with several people who began seeing me when they were a "weight loss client," and now, well, are not. I think we all agree that the shift we made out of a weight loss focus, was the best thing for their health and wellness.
Weight Problems and Society
We need to stop contributing to this unhelpful message that the way to fix body image issues is about fixing your weight. There are so many issues with this message…
When a person begins to make active changes to diet and exercise for the sole purpose of losing weight, we are saying "my body is not acceptable, therefore I need to change it." The complete opposite of body positivity or body acceptance.
Additionally, it contributes to weight stigma. To the people around us, weight loss and dieting communicates the following: "if YOUR body is the same or larger than mine, you should also change yours/you aren’t good enough."
Body acceptance means practicing body kindness. And this spreads. If I say I need to lose weight, or "tone" or whatever, (or I say it indirectly by dieting), those around me internalize that being thin and fit is valuable, and being larger and having visible fat is not acceptable.
As soon as we put the focus on weight loss and changing our body, we teach anyone in a larger body than ours that their body is not acceptable, and we teach smaller folks that they better stay thin...or get thinner.
When we accept our bodies, we relieve the societal pressure that says bodies must be controlled. There’s a domino effect to this. If you exist in a social circle that’s obsessed with dieting– it’s going to be a lot harder to express kindness towards your body!
If you exist in a social circle that normalizes all bodies, and doesn’t put much attention towards weight loss or gain– it will be easier to feel more neutral or even positive about your body.
There's not much room culturally for the literal truth: That there are many different body types out there, and that bodies change throughout the lifespan. Spread the word!
How to Think Positively About Weight
Body Positivity Vs Weight Loss: Commonly asked questions:
What if I feel my body weight really is unhealthy?
That’s a valid question, especially given how much our medical system harps on the connection between weight and health. But I would maintain openness and be curious about the big picture of your health. For example, if you are convinced that your knee pain would reduce or go away with weight loss, consider that thinner folks experience knee pain too and it’s possible that weight isn’t as big a contributor as you think.
Then, say your knee pain is connected at least partly to your weight— then how would dieting, preoccupation with weight loss and attempts to keep weight off affect your life in comparison to managing chronic knee pain and exploring the same options that thin people have for managing theirs?
There’s a movement of practitioners (like me!) who are aware that your weight is not to blame for your health condition. We are also aware that weight stigma is not good for your health.
Weight is a complex thing. It is multifaceted, and while diet culture would like us to believe we have a lot of control over our weight, we don't have that much. The diet culture would also like us to believe that weight is the problem (since that’s the only way the $60+ billion dollar diet industry continues to make money!).
It's really not. If it were, then everyone with high BMI/fat levels would die early and have unhealthy lab work...and I am certain this is not true, because I see it, and there is research for it.
Does Body Positivity Lead to Weight Loss?
It depends. I am advocating for weight neutrality. Letting your body decide where your weight wants to fall, managing your health without a focus on what your weight is doing, and then exploring the emotions that go along with all of that.
We can look at lab work, and lifestyle factors like eating, movement and feelings, and let that information guide our health behavior change. If weight changes alongside the process then we observe too. It's just another piece of information, but it's a neutral piece.
Well, it must be easy to believe this stuff if you are in a thinner body!
Thin privilege is a very real thing. If you live in a thinner or smaller body, or a body that is just more in line with the societal ideal, you have it easier in many ways. It's just a fact. Thinner individuals don’t have to worry about if the chairs at a restaurant or on the plane will fit, and smaller people often carry less shame when eating socially. Worrying about these things adds substantial stress to a person’s life.
This doesn't mean you don't struggle with body image or eating if you’re thinner, or that you've never been uncomfortable in your body, or that you haven't felt the pressures of staying thin and fit. It simply means that if we live in society’s ideal body (thin and or toned), we haven't had to face the same kind of oppression of living in a larger body and being treated differently there.
The culture of dieting and fatphobia has caused doctors to prescribe weight loss to large people, while calling that anorexia in thinner people. People in smaller bodies fear the experience of being in a larger body, and people in larger bodies are feeling crappy and judged all the time for the one day a week they decide to eat a burger and fries.
All that is to say, that those of us in thinner bodies have to look at this, and look at how our body affects our experience in the world, and then decide how we want to contribute to this whole thing. I think body acceptance/body liberation and size inclusion is a step in the right direction.
It is normal to feel uncomfortable in your body AND, it is normal to want to lose weight or change your body shape.
It’s complicated and messy and beautiful and hard living in these bodies of ours. Some of these harder feelings can decrease over time the more we heal, and the more our behaviors are motivated by overall health, enjoyment, and body kindness.
But we need to embrace the complicated experience of being in a body, and embrace all the bodies that exist in this world. Nothing good ever comes from beating ourselves up, and expecting ourselves and our body to be someone it’s not. So explore your body image, explore the discomforts, but behave in ways that express kindness and compassion towards your body.
For more support, check out my affordable short courses, including my body image workshop an intro to health at every size, and support for binging and cravings. If you are looking for individual support, send me a message.
References:
Olson, M. B., Kelsey, S. F., Bittner, V., Reis, S. E., Reichek, N., Handberg, E. M., & Merz, C. N. (2000). Weight cycling and high-density lipoprotein cholesterol in women: evidence of an adverse effect: a report from the NHLBI-sponsored WISE study. Women's Ischemia Syndrome Evaluation Study Group. Journal of the American College of Cardiology, 36(5), 1565–1571. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0735-1097(00)00901-3
Gaesser G. A. (1999). Thinness and weight loss: beneficial or detrimental to longevity?. Medicine and science in sports and exercise, 31(8), 1118–1128. https://doi.org/10.1097/00005768-199908000-00007
Mann, T., Tomiyama, A. J., Westling, E., Lew, A. M., Samuels, B., & Chatman, J. (2007). Medicare's search for effective obesity treatments: diets are not the answer. The American psychologist, 62(3), 220–233. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.62.3.220
